I am a weevil broker I buy and sell and lease If you need a weevil, Have I got a weevil! Got two, if you’ve got the grease By grease I mean the moolah These little buggers eat a lot When you feed ‘em right They’ll consume what’s left They’ll devour ev’rything you’ve got And they have an insatiable appetite They can adapt to the changing winds Start ‘em at the edge They’ll work their way to the middle Where you’d think they were the best of friends They only look a little bit diff’rent But their function’s quite the same Don’t be a Doubting Thomas You’ll get some of what I promise In this town, I am the only game I run a democratic enterprise I’ll lease to anyone who can pay Sure, they are expensive But their resumé’s extensive And my clients seem to like it that way So, I’ll lease you a coupla weevils For 2 or 6 or maybe 4 years And when the term is through You can trade or renew And I’ll throw in the smoke & mirrors I’m the lessor of two weevils (you’ve heard about) The lessor of two weevils (without a doubt) A challenge to believe, but it’s all true So when you want a weevil I’m just a necessary evil I’ll take your cash or your check or your charge or your IOU So, when you gotta have a weevil I’m your weevil Knieval It’s the very lease that I can do for you