Wealth and Consequences

Words and Music by James Durst
© 1990, 2006 Phoenixongs ASCAP

I’m gonna jet to Costa Rica
I’m gonna get myself a tan
Gonna let some senorita
Cool me with her fan
An’ when I’m good an’ toasty
I’ll wing on back to town
Where all my palefaced friends will gasp,
“Hey, isn’t that James...brown?!”

I’m gonna hop off to Hong Kong
Gonna shop for some custom threads
Then I’ll stop off in Italia
For a pair o’ handmade treads
An’ I’ll make a fashion statement
That’ll leave friends all the paler
They’ll ask in whispered wonderment,
“Hey, just who is James’...tailor?!”                                                                  
I believe I’ll re-enroll in college
Gonna get some advanced degree
Gonna get my fill of knowledge
About Criminal Psychology
Yeah, but if I don’t make the Dean’s List
I just might make a scene
And inquiring minds will want to know:
“Hey, has anyone seen James’...dean?!”

I’m gonna get myself a lawyer
For to handle my defense
I’ll sit out in the foyer
While he proclaims my innocence
An’ then I’ll wave a wreath o’ Franklins
When I’m required to respond
When the judge peers down her nose to ask,
“Hey, who’s gonna go James’...bond?!”

I’m gonna sleaze out of the courthouse
I’m gonna melt into the night
I’ll use my vast resources
To vanish and take flight
They’re gonna chase me ‘round the planet
‘Til they get me with the goods
Then Christiane Amanpour will ask
“Did they catch him in James’...woods?”

They’re gonna put me in the Big House
They’re gonna throw away the key
I’m gonna spend the rest of my natural life
As a guest of society
‘Til my lips an’ my fate
An’ my secrets are sealed,
An’ my Maker I am facin’
These worthless ol’ bones
Beneath mortar an’ stone, you’ll ask,
“Did it all go to James’...mason?!”

 

 

 
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